DAVID MARCUS: Democrats abandon Schumer’s imaginary couple, Joe and Eileen Bailey
So, Joe and Eileen Bailey, that lovely fictitious couple from Massapequa, are back in the news. In case you missed it, HBO’s John Oliver has exposed that the prototypical voting couple who for decades served as the policy muse for Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., does not actually exist.
It has always been a bit of a winking open secret that Joe and Eileen are figments of Schumer’s imagination, but the senator has given his characters years of detailed backstory that all lead to one conclusion: The Democrat Party has utterly abandoned Joe and Eileen Bailey.
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In his 2007 book “Positively American,” Schumer gave us a thumbnail of these made-up middle-class swing voters, and it’s worth digging into a bit and comparing them to the Democrat priorities in 2025.
Joe and Eileen, as the story goes, bought into Reagan Republicanism in the 1980s. They don’t really believe in trickle down, but they don’t believe in a whole lot of government spending, either.
Well, here in 2025, the Democrats are turning into the party of government-run grocery stores and student debt forgiveness.
Joe takes off his cap and sings along with the national anthem at the hockey game, and Eileen volunteers at her church.
In 2025, a majority of Democrats do not believe that America is a force for good in the world, and less than a quarter of Democrats attend church compared with over 40% of Republicans.
Joe and Eileen are pro-choice. They think every woman has the right to make that decision, but they are glad that their church isn’t.
In 2025, the Democrats have moved well beyond their old position of wanting abortion to be safe, legal, and importantly, rare, to a celebration of the practice upon which they would put no limits.
Finally, Joe and Eileen are not anti-immigration, but they are against illegal immigration.
In 2025, the position of the Democrats is that pretty much all of the estimated 20 million illegals who flooded in under President Joe Biden should have a right to stay in the country.
What we see here is the perfect encapsulation of how Democrats have abandoned the political center of the nation in their bizarre lurching to the far left.
Even Schumer admits this. In recent interviews, he has acknowledged that the Baileys voted for Donald Trump in 2016, split their vote in 2020, and then came back to Trump in 2024 Amazingly, the reason that Chuck gives for these most recent votes is crime.
Crime! This is the same Chuck Schumer who, this week, took to social media to say crime in Washington, D.C., is not a big deal, and he knows because he takes early morning walks around the Capitol with his security detail.
Has this guy even read his own book? Where does he think Joe and Eileen stand on fighting crime in D.C. and closer to their fictional home in New York City? He’s already stated that this is exactly what the Baileys elected President Donald Trump to do.
Democrats might argue that Joe and Eileen are now in their 70s, that they are no longer the archetype of the Democrat voter, but in fact, to steal a page from Schumer’s book, I have met Joe and Eileen all over this country.
These are the strong and steady Americans who work hard, keep their heads down, are not overly ideological and want a government that is effective but not one that dominates their lives.
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Joe and Eileen could be a coal miner and a hairdresser in western Pennsylvania, they could be a steel worker and waitress in Ohio, they could be a cop and an office assistant in North Carolina. In all these places, they are voting red.
Schumer has correctly identified the central problem his party has with all of these Joes and Eileens, as Republicans lick their chops waiting to run a midterm against socialist Zohran Mamdani should he win the New York mayoral race in November.
Schumer’s party has swung wildly to the left, and for some reason, even though he is the most powerful Democrat elected official in America, he can’t seem to do a damn thing about it.
If Democrats are ever going to get Joe and Eileen back, it’s not going to be because of Chuck Schumer. But if somebody in the party doesn’t step up and start speaking to their concerns, the Baileys might never vote blue again.
